ASSALAMUALAIKUM.
Everything comes in circle.
Karma.
Food chain.
Me?
I was caught with this inclination to kill myself.
-Once upon a time ago-
true...
I always though that...
My life is worthless.
pathetic
Just a mere dust in this vast universe.
Insignificant [period]
But, just a second before I decide to take the leap,
a new revelation comes to me in a silver platter.
-I luv Islam-
INSTEAD of ending it....
why don't I embrace the life that the Almighty is giving me?
His blessing.
His gift.
Death is not an option, not when you have so much to live for.
NOT till you have enough merit from Allah.
Not until I am sure I will face Allah with full recognition that I have done what Allah had asked me to do
as a Muslim,
and carried out his orders..
to be a true Muslimat....
Insya Allah.
Sadly, words and long speech cannot make a difference
Then? What will?
answer: IF I don't take the 'leap' to make the difference! Duh.
I constantly reminding myself:-
Life comes in full circle...
When it starts, it never ends...
Life continues to make swift move in a round shape
again and again...
Don't get it?
LOL
Me neither...
It is complicated to explain.
but this is how I understand...
Because I understand that
when you're sad, you will bound to be happy...
when you're mad, you'll bound to find peace
when you're scared, you'll bound to find courage
when you're sick, you will be cured, indefinitely.
when all seems lost, you will find a way.
BUT! [remember] only with God's will!
but basically, everything about me...
the struggle, my happiness, my success,
it comes in full circle.
Good and bad, it will sequentially change their roles in my life.
[Teacher,example please!]
Okay, here's the simplest example...
-----------------------------------------
Monday: bad day:
Start: Lecturing hour & End: weekend.
[ Mood: frown! ]
Friday: Joyful day :
End: Lecturing hour -- Start: Weekend.
[ Mood: Grin from ear to ear ]
Monday again... friday again.... monday...Friday.... :P lol
[Now, try to draw a circle for this situation LOL]
------------------------------------------
That is why, even though I am trying to change myself...
I AM AFRAID
My efforts to change might be temporary.
Like a circle,
Present: all so hyped up with my resolution! Good Muslimat!
future: Huh? Why did I write this freaking post in this blog? Delete please!
Future: Start from scratch and babbling to friends that you are trying to change for good {again}
...................................................................
Ya Allah, help me to be strong so that I will always stay true in a right path.
Let me at least make this one thing be a straight line...
This part of me who wants to change...
And guys....
[Teacher, so gender-bias! why only guys?]
~Oops, wrong choice of words.. LOL~
~cough, cough~
And friends, (happy now?)
[YES!]
If you are reading, pray for my success.
May I have the strong will to change.
Aminn~
SALAM.
